Are You/They Listening?

Treasure Your Life Now:
Today’s Relationship Tip
Are you listening?

Tip # 34 in Love With No Regrets “55 Ways to Show Love” is “Listen with your Heart and your Head” –

The story below that goes with the photos and videos illustrated a time when I was paying more attention to the conversations in my own head than to that of the young boy with whom I had been conversing. I thus invite you to listen to the first 30-second video. Can you “hear” yourself in it, in either of the roles?

Today’s Photos
Late one afternoon, as I started walking and taking photographs of wood knots in Green Cay Wetlands, I got into conversation with a young boy and his mother. I stopped and showed them the Green Cay Wood Knot Lion, still in my camera. We then discovered another possible lion, or other critter, right under our feet. G, the young boy, did not agree with his mother and me on what it was. So the next time I made a discovery, he went down close himself to inspect it.

boy studying woodknot on the boardwalk at Green Cay Wetlands
Click on the photo to see Wood Knot the Boy is studying Continue reading

Shift Your Relationship – Focus on the Important

Relationship Tip #3 in “55 Ways to Show Love” is “Focus on the things he/she does well.”Great tip. But how do these two rose photos relate to it?

The rose is beautiful. In the color photo, though, there is some distraction – on the table and in the background. It’s not a “clean” photo. This could have been altered in a photo editing program, and I had no plans to do anything with it, so I let it be.

Then, in going through the photo album on my iPhone this particular rose once again caught my eye. I wondered what it would look like in black and white. I went to one of the apps and did a “Wow!” I love it, so dramatic and rich-looking.


In the process the distracting background got camouflaged and some of the elements still noticeable appear to be an integral part of a planned composition. Total attention/focus is on the central beauty of the flower. The thing the rose does well IS be beautiful.

Action Queries and Steps
I now invite you to look at one of your relationships. It could even be with yourself.

What’s around him/her/you? What distractions pull you away from looking directly at him/her/you?

What if you were to disappear, in your mind, all of those extraneous bits and pieces, most likely mainly in your thoughts, and were to focus solely on the person, the traits and actions you admire and love? What might become available to you and them?

I invite you to “try this on” . Be in the space of the query, then the action of “playing” with the strengths that you saw. I invite you to add your experience in the comments below.

Loving Her Feet

One of the tips in “55 Ways to Show Love” is “Give foot massages to partner who loves them, without expectation of receiving the same for yourself.” As I was going through black and white photos Sam took of me in the early years of our marriage, this photo grabbed my attention.

Though foot massages were not a part of our regular caring for each other, I do have vivid memories of a particular one in a cab after traipsing in Manhattan in high heels looking for furnishings for our first apartment.

In looking at this photo, I realize that, in a way, Sam was massaging my feet and legs with his eyes and  camera. What a treasure it is to have these tangible memories also!

Are you creating loving and tangible memories for your loved one “to have and to hold” in some way in days and years to come?

Roses and Hugs – Demonstrations of Love

When this perspective view of these two roses, part of a mixture of 2 dozen roses, caught my eye, I was immediately reminded of a quote I had read several years ago. “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth,” Virginia Satir, psychotherapist/author.

I suspect that what had the imagery grab my attention, in the first place, was just having read all the comments mentioning “hugs” as one of the tips in “55 Ways of Showing Love.”  See the Love Tips page here.

Further investigation also reminded me that the rose is considered a symbol of love.

I asked the following questions in Picture to Ponder  and on Photography and Transformation and I think they are certainly good and relevant ones to ask here. I invite you to reflect on:

What are one or more ways you most treasure in showing your love and/or in being shown love?

Have you shared this in discussion with your partner? It’s a great conversation opener, especially when you’re not attached to a specific outcome, coming from openness, rather than an agenda of rights or wrongs.



Loyalty and Devotion

One of the tips in 55 WAYS TO SHOW LOVE is showing “loyalty and devotion.” The phrase kept running around in my head, particularly when I saw a Phalaenopsis Orchid plant once again blooming on a table in my screened-in patio.

A couple of times a year, seemingly out of nowhere, I suddenly notice a bud.  I may pay attention to it, then I forget it for a few days, being pleasantly surprised when I see the flowers.  It’s a plant I water when I think of it and in the past few times of bloom, three flowers showed up, now two.

This particular orchid plant was one of four I bought one day on the way home from the cemetery, several months after my beloved husband Sam died.  One plant is gone and two others are still putting out roots, though they’ve never bloomed after that first round. They’ve never been fed, other than occasional water.  With it all,  this one especially is loyal to me, blooming in its cycle, no matter what.

Then there is the Maranta (“Prayer”) plant that I’ve had for over 40 years in one form or another.  I’ve written about it in my Picture to Ponder ezine a few times and did again this past week in relation to “loyalty and devotion, posting it on Photography and Transformation. I’m labeling the Maranta, “devoted”  given the amount of time it has been with me. It’s grown again, way beyond the point when, insect-infected,  I “discarded it” in my backyard as I raced off on a trip.  It, too, resides on a bookcase in  my patio. Again, the only “food” this plant has ever had is water.  Oftentimes it’s gone through dry spells and pieces have died off because I’ve taken it for granted and not remembered to water it.

So, how does this all fit here on Love With No Regrets?  My behaviors in relation to these plants have a resemblance to how I was, at times, with Sam, taking him for granted, assuming his love and many times not acknowledging him and it.  I was blessed that he was there for me no matter what (as these plants are), loving me with no expectations of anything other than my being there. Now that he is gone, I am fortunate to be blessed to have had all the communication we did have, his photos and writing and much more.  I can call on these when “regrets” for what wasn’t comes up.

What about you?  Do you remember to acknowledge your parter and the people in your life?  Are you sure that everything you want to say has been said? Do you and your partner each have a body of tangible, great memories that you can “hold” should something happen to either one of  you?

If you have any questions around this, I invite you to email me – Sheila [at] – to explore this in a 1/2 hour complimentary “ReInvent Your Love” session.



Introducing Treasure Your Life Now

Reflecting on llife.This blog will be reflecting a variety of different types of posts. Many will have evolved from photographs and “Self-Reflecting Queries” during the past 7 1/2 years in my Picture to Ponder ezine. These have been posted for the past four and a half years on Photography and Transformation.

I invite you to pause and reflect on your life and your relationships as you go through these pages. First and foremost to be reflecting upon is your relationship with yourself.

When owning ourselves and our strengths and love we are able to more fully love another.