To whom are you listening? Yourself…or ??

In the last post, I mentioned Andrea Stephens’ video interview with me on the topic of “Easy, Fun and Effective Communication.”  One of the 9 tips about which I spoke was: 

Give your full attention to whomever is talking. 
No multi-tasking. 

Today as I was checking in on some earlier issues, I was reminded of another critical component to that tip and that is:

No mind wandering onto your own story of what you think you might want to say next.

A Relevant Story –

Boy studies a wood knot in Green Cay Wetlands

A few years ago, as I was walking in Green Cay Wetlands and taking photographs of wood knots, I got into conversation with a young boy, Grady, and his mother. I stopped and showed them the Green Cay Wood Knot Lion, still in my camera.

We then discovered another possible lion, or other critter, right under our feet. Grady did not agree with his mother and me on what it was. So the next time I made a discovery, he went down close to inspect it.

Note: You’ll find a link to see a page the Wood Knot images discussed here at the end of this email.***

Grady’s Story-
We continued our walk, made some other “finds”, and then stopped. My new, young friend climbed onto the railing to look down and watch the blue-winged teals swimming.

As I videoed, Grady continued talking about a story that was evidently on his mind from an earlier conversation. His chattering along with the movement of the bird, is in the 32-second, fun video below.

Blue -winged teal swims as boy talks  about something else
If you can’t see the video, click on Blue-Winged Teal

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Paying attention – listening/not listening  –
If/when you’ve watched, and listened to, the video with the boy chattering, you’ll have heard me break in with the suggestion to look at the water coming out of the duck’s beak. I also was waiting for the bird to open it wings so I could point out the blue to Grad

I cringed when I heard this in playback. It reminded me of how often, I pay attention to my own thoughts and agenda and am not FULLY with the other person. And, I know, this is NOT unique to me.

Relationship queries
I invite you, for the next day, or more, to pay attention to your own listening. Are you always full present to what the other person is saying or are your thoughts going elsewhere?

When you notice you’re not, are you planning on what you are going to say next, concentrating on something else, or is your mind simply wandering?

Suggested actions
If/when you catch yourself, I invite you to stop, apologize to the person who is speaking, if appropriate, and ask for a recap.

Then fully enjoy being in the moment with that person

As always, have fun with this.

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The above story relates to one of the 9 Tips to Easy, Fun, Effective Communication: Guidelines and “Rules” for Speaking/Writing to Make a Difference. To receive the free PDF of the tips, simply tap/click on 9 Communication Tips

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Evolving News Story – Mark your calendars.
Monday night, April 4th, at 8:00 PM Eastern time will be the first of 4 classes in the “Magic of Shifting Perspectives” program. Each week will be a different theme covering various creative aspects in communicating and connecting.

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An Invitation
Is there something in your life you feel is missing or off? … a communication or connection challenge? If so, I invite you to a FREE 30-minute Discovery Session. Simply put your request in the Reply space below this post and I will get back to you.

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***To see the Wood Knot Images Grady, his mother and I were looking at tap/click on “Eye Catcher Wood Knots – Are You Listening?”.


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